New Year, Stronger Faith

This was how I welcomed 2015. I watched the fireworks through our glass window alone in our room while the rest of the family went up to the rooftop and feasted on a 360 degree view of the whole metro. I told them I’ll just sit it out while they watch upstairs as I got tired preparing our media noche. But the truth was I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts, even just for a few minutes.

I was scared. A big change was coming. The start of 2015 was welcoming me with a big burly sack of problems on my shoulders. Becca, Lyndel’s Ate for the past years, left so she can pursue her studies. Mr. Husband on the other hand, had to look for another job as he had already left his job of 7 years. He was supposed to go into a very promising business that he already set up but things didn’t work out with his partner. I was so scared of what might happen to us. I panicked thinking how our home management will go. I panicked how long can we survive on a single income household. I panicked on how I will be able to parent Lyndel with all these worries.

I reveled at the stillness of the new year. I took a deep breath and said a prayer and cried and cried.

This first quarter happened like a blur. I can’t believe it’s already March and I survived it. We already have a new help around the house (finally). We’re still job hunting and praying for it. As I look back on what happened the past months, I am truly grateful that He has guided me and picked me up when I was down. God held me and comforted me and I felt his reassuring presence. He sure plucked me out of my comfort zone, scared me out of my wits. But now I realize that all these is a part of His grand plan for us.

Losing Becca may have meant that it was time for me to be more hands-on with Lyndel. I must admit, Becca helped me a lot in molding Lyndel to be who he is now – a caring, thoughtful boy. He had to take Becca away so I can stand on my own, even if I’m so busy at work. Maybe God is saying: “it’s your time to really shine Momma”. I still haven’t made sense about the job-hunting part. But maybe I really don’t have to. Maybe I just really need to trust the process, trust Him. Completely.

Update: As of April 1, we are back to being a help-less household again.

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I am excited about what will happen next. I can’t wait for His plan to unfold. ☺️

Image source: Unknown via Facebook

Comments

  1. God has his own way to show His plan for us, sometimes we don’t understand it but we just have to trust Him. He makes all things beautiful in His time. :)

    • Chrissy Caballero says:

      Yes :) I just have to constantly pinch myself to let go and surrender everything to Him :) Thanks for dropping by! God bless :)

  2. God definitely has good things in store for you and your family. Keep the faith!

    xoxo
    MrsMartinez

  3. I agree with Michelle, Everything that happens in this life has its own meaning & purpose. We may not understand them but we just have to trust God all the time. Each day that we wake up is a new beginning. He has plans for us. But it is up to us to make our lives a positive one.

    • Chrissy Caballero says:

      Yes, I see that now Vance :) it may be hard at times because we don’t know what His grand plan is but the mere fact that I have survived these past months is already a clear testimony that God is at work.

  4. Honestly, this is so true. As cliche as it may sound, but really, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, we are consumed with why and what if. Not really realizing that God has His plans. And he will never forsake us.

  5. Hi Mommy Chrissy, you’re right, we need to trust Him, like how I did when He gave us our daughter. :) Take care.

  6. these are the things that scare me and give me wrinkles as well! hassle. hakuna matata. 😛

  7. hi chrissy, super beautiful blog post. I’m moved.

    I heard recently a conversation like this, naalala ko lang ng mabasa ko post mo kasi it sounds like that.
    Voice 1: Why do you always look at the bright side?
    Voice 2: Because the view is beautiful there.

    It’s like you. Continue looking at the bright side… Never stop believing that everything will turn out all right. :)

    • Chrissy Caballero says:

      Thank you so much for the kind words Joy :) Naiyak tuloy ako when I approved your comment :) God bless you!

  8. You’ll get through it mommy, remember God provides.
    Since my mom died last year, single income kami. Its been 13 months and yet, naka survive naman kami. Ako nalang nag wowork ngayon, while my husband stays at home. Its actually our mutual decision, ayaw namin kumuha ng yaya kasi gusto din namin maging hands on kay baby. I can’t leave my job yet, kasi sayang ang benefits, lalo na ang health card :)

  9. Hi Chrissy, you’re a strong, brave, woman. Do you remember your LEAP declaration? 😉 Grabe how the rug gets pulled out from under our feet ‘no. We’re just totally taken by surprise and we’re left scrambling for ways to survice, ways to get by… then we eventually discover how strong we really are and it’s not just surviving anymore, or simply existing, but living. Things will look up. From the sound of your blog entry, things ARE looking up! :) So much realization and shifts from you already. Keep at it. *hugs* You know I’m here for you too!

  10. You know what, I’m in the same shoes. There have been so many changes this year for us, and sometimes, I’m also afraid I can’t cope up. But God is good, and he will take your family through these challenges. Just face one day at a time!

  11. Hugs to you, Chrissy! God has you, although we cannot see His plan, He has you.

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